Knoblauch: plays the mean, sneering German guy in a WWII movie

Jeter: a model for GQ. or in a boy band

Bernie: a gentle musician (which, of course, he is)

Tino: birdwatcher, since he looks like a bird

Spencer: works at the marina. with fish. 'cause he looks like one

Brosius: your typical all-American Dad, who takes his kids to the park and plays baseball with them

Sojo: butcher, with a bloody apron and a big hunk o' rump roast

Soriano: NYC courier racing down the sidewalks at 90 mph to make deliveries

Stanton: refrigerator repairman

Pettite: high school teacher who glares at his students with the patented Andy Stare when they misbehave

Rivera: street vendor selling quesadillas who speaks very little English

Mussina: works in an office with lots of papers. Wears a suit and tie and goes to business meetings

Posada: toll collector

Cone: sniveling, busy accountant. workaholic.

Wells: spends all his time on the couch drinking beer, burping, and watching football

Justice: doctor. with stethoscope around his neck.

Clemens: Pop Warner football coach

El Duque: the guy who does the shell game on the street

Jeff Nelson: dairy farmer

Kiesler: gets carded every time he tries to buy alcohol or tobacco cause they think hes a high school student

Canseco: professional Big Dumb Guy

Glenallen Hill: tough security guard

Joe Torre: head of the Garbage Workers Union

Don Zimmer: shrewd dealer in pork bellies. Spends most of his time in off-track betting parlors w/a cigar. Or I could see him as the jolly old guy who dresses up as Santa Claus at the mall

...I had to save the best for last:

Paul O'Neill: the sour old janitor at an elementary school. All the kids are scared of him because he  yells at them when they walk across the floor he just waxed and mumbles under his breath to his broom.